by Danielle Travali
There's a major fuel shortage in Asheville, North Carolina. Inside their cars, hundreds of people begin to sweat and panic in the heat of an Indian Summer, waiting hours to fill their gas tanks. There's fighting and shouting, confusion and anger. But in nearby Black Mountain, Mimi Kates (who has barely enough fuel to make it to the empty pump down the street) sits in her backyard and focuses her camera lens on a hummingbird as it burrows its beak in a marigold. While everyone else is determined to drive, she knows this too shall pass. She laughs and says, "I'm a flier."
Throughout the past decade, Kates has certainly soared. She overcame emotional, physical, and financial hardships, then found her bliss serving communities in Vermont, nationally, and now, in her new home state of North Carolina. After reading about the prevalence of eating disorders affecting girls around the country and hearing young ladies in her neighborhood call themselves "fat" and "ugly," she felt the need to help put an end to the madness.
Kates, a singer/songwriter and former public school educator, combined her talents and began conducting local interactive workshops for girls to promote positive body image and teach media literacy.
In 2000, Kates founded The Dressing Room Project, a movement whose mission is to instill a positive self-image in women everywhere. Thousands of girls and women of all ages participate by downloading free girl-designed, positive body image cards to post on women’s dressing room mirrors. Phrases such as "You are beautiful" and "We're all supermodels inside" help remind women of their uniqueness and internal beauty.
"We encourage girls to focus on their positive qualities and not rely on popular culture and media for their self image,” says Kates. “Girls who feel good about who they are will be less likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors. Part of the power of this project is that the wisdom (the messages on the cards) comes from their peers. Girls feel the power to change their attitude and their world as they post these messages for others to see."
Although the end of a longtime relationship and a number of health issues left her financially challenged and homeless in 2003, Kates’ spirits remained high. In her autobiographical article in Western North Carolina Woman Magazine, she wrote that instead of labeling herself as a woman living in her Subaru Legacy, she created a self-fulfilling prophecy, calling herself "an inspired activist and professional presenter on National Tour."
Determined to make the best out of a difficult situation, she contacted schools and youth centers around the country to book her workshops. She turned her vehicle into a home and “portable office," taking the front passenger seat out and laying a rug down for a makeshift living room. She "made colorful curtains for all the windows" and "put glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling.” With her foam mattress, 12-volt cooler, road atlas, cell phone, and laptop, she was ready to begin her tour.
Kates' music, which she uses as a catalyst to discussions in her workshops, is another significant part of her message. Her independent folk album Halfway Home, featured on CDBaby.com, includes songs about self-acceptance, awkward teenage moments and the endless "world of possibilities." Her rich, mellifluous voice has been compared to Joni Mitchell's.
Kates, whose parents were both classically-trained musicians and whose older brother was a prodigy at the violin by age two and a half, admits she “took a bit longer to find my musical niche." Although her dad wanted her to play violin, she says, "I never really could." Yet 30 years later, when she recorded Halfway Home, Kates "painstakingly" practiced one line of the instrumental lullaby "Roots and Stars" on the fiddle, dedicating the tune to her father.
She describes the whole composing process as a "meditation.” "My best songs have surprised me," she muses. Some of them have even come out of dreams. She advises aspiring songwriters and other artists to "let anything come out and don't worry about judging it."
Kates may be a singer, but she has helped many women to find their own voices, too. On The Dressing Room Project web site, one girl, Joanna Tanger, said, "Her dedication to young people made me realize that it is possible to make a difference." But Mimi Kates is more than a musician and self-confidence booster— she's a strong woman who takes pride in her physical abilities. Instead of criticizing her "legendary Bergman thighs" passed down from her grandmother, she's thankful for what they've allowed her to do. "I can drive a tractor; I've helped build a house." She adds, "I love hiking in the mountains and hang gliding."
And although she's three years shy of 50, she keeps in touch with her inner child—she has a room full of homemade stuffed animals and retro toys such as an Easy Bake Oven, a Magic Eight Ball, an Etch-A-Sketch, and the Barrel of Monkeys she ordered from eBay for the sake of nostalgia. “They're relics from my past." She says, "I like creating a welcoming space.” Whether she's entertaining at home or drinking coffee and sharing a good story with homeless people in her community, her goal is to make people feel comfortable.
Keeping a nonprofit organization afloat these days is a daunting challenge. Much of Kates’ time is spent networking and searching for funding sources for The Dressing Room Project. Regardless of how busy her life may seem, Kates likes to savor each moment. "I enjoy things like gardening and making bread… I like taking the time to do tasks reminiscent of a simpler era. It acts as a sort of barometer for me. If I don't have time to bake a loaf of bread once a week, there's something wrong."
Overall, she is glad she decided to begin a nonprofit project. For anyone who is interested in starting an enterprise or organization, Kates says, "If you're willing to take risks, it's worth it."
Her number one piece of advice for young women in search of a career is, "Look at what you're passionate about and you'll find a way."
